Divorce isn't an impulsive decision for most people. Typically, the person wanting the divorce has been thinking about it for quite some time. It starts as a niggling idea that grows into a very real possibility. If you have the luxury of time to plan before a divorce is filed, you would be wise to ask yourself if you are financially ready.
Can you support yourself and your children without help from your spouse? Does your spouse earn enough to contribute to your support? Is it likely your spouse will comply with orders regarding support? If your answer to any of these questions is no, and if your divorce decision can wait, your first priority should be to increase your earning ability. That may mean finding a job or going back to school.
While the divorce judge will be able to enter orders requiring your spouse to contribute to your and your children’s support, the sad truth is that it can take weeks or months for a support order to take effect and even then the amount ordered might be insufficient or your spouse might ignore the judge’s ruling, in which case it will take even more time and money to enforce the order. Unfortunately, in many cases money is power. The more urgently you need something from your spouse (eg, money to pay the rent) the greater your spouse's leverage. If you do not need to rely on your spouse for support, you will be approaching your divorce from a position of strength rather than desperation.
Often clients will ask if they should delay seeking employment to enhance an alimony or child support claim. My answer is typically no. In almost all cases, you will end up better off with an income of your own and, if appropriate, some supplemental support. If possible, before you seriously move toward divorce, focus on reaching the greatest possible level of financial independence.
